Sharon Strutt
Strategic Head of Delivery
Directorate of Place
London Borough of Redbridge
Lynton House
255 – 259 High Road
ILFORD
Essex IG1 1NY
Dear Ms
Strutt,
Many thanks
for two letters received in the post today at thisbeen my home since 1962 – and
very happy I am to live here, for Aldborough Hatch is a pleasant place and
often referred to as the ‘Village in the Suburbs” (which so
happens to be the sub-title of my published
book Aldborough Hatch – The Village in the Suburbs – A
History, which, sadly, is now out of print but I did send half-a-dozen
copies to the Chief Librarian so you may be able to borrow a copy if
you belong to the Ilford Central Library. I sent them free of charge
because the Librarian claimed they had no money to buy books anymore, which
seemed to me to be a pity for a library without new books – and
well-written ones like mine – is not much of a library . . . but I
digress, for which I apologise!).
The two
letters regarding the Conservation Forum on 6th December were correctly addressed
to this house but there were problems with the names of the addressees.
My name is Ron
Jeffries – not Jefferies. You will note that I have italicised and made bold
the central ‘e’ for this is incorrect. I pay my Council Tax as Jeffries,
so please be the kindly lady that I am sure you are and have
this corrected for it jars my senses and upsets Socks, my cat, who
is the only other resident – or was when I last checked.
You see my
three children have fled the nest and my dear wife now resides in heaven –
I have the latter on the good authority of the many Vicars I have seen off
here at St. Peter’s Church, where I joined the choir in 1944 at the
age of eleven (which will help you, with the aid of a calculator, to work out
my age, if you are so minded, of course, and you may well be too busy
delivering so I will not be in the least offended if you do not wish
do so – and you would be the loser).
The second
letter gave the addressee as Mr Blake. Now I would want you to know that
we (Socks and me that is) have no Mr Blake living here. Honest! We have
checked. In fact, my extensive research – going back in history to
the time in the 1930s when these houses were built – reveals that no
Mr Blake has ever lived here. Not ever! Never!
In the past –
on more occasions than I remember – I have advised the Planning Department
at the Town Hall that Mr Blake does not live here – all to no avail. I
would hazard a guess that they were far too busy
granting retrospective planning applications for beds-in-sheds
and garages-without-doors-big-enough-to-allow-a-car-to-enter-but-large-enough-to-house-a-family-of-six-two-cats-and-a-parrot-together-with-Grandma-when-she-comes-to-stay.
Be that as it
may, for you are not in that Department (and probably very grateful for
that, I will bet!) and cannot be held responsible for the misdemeanours of
others, but are ensconced down the road at Sunny Lynton House (opposite
the site of the old Ilford Palais where the lads about town used to strut
their stuff, but not me I would have you know. My Mum would not allow me
to go out at nights until I was of voting age!).
And being the
Strategic Head of Delivery in the Directorate of Place, you will know how
to rectify this gross error (and I must add that your job title arouses
such admiration that I have come all over with a quiver! Do you have a van
or are all your deliveries on foot? If the former, I trust it
is road-worthy. If the latter, I suggest you hold a sit-in outside the
CEO’s office till they give you suitable transport for we cannot have you
lugging packages all around the town! No way, Hosea!).
Thank you for
staying with me till the end of this missive. Have a coffee, a cup of Earl
Grey or a bowl of hot, nourishing soup (I recommend Green Pea and Mint
from Aldi, although Mr Sainsbury does a delicious range but they are
far too costly for an old pensioner like me!). Take care and have a
good day. And whatever you do, don’t let them get you down, for they will
try!
Yours
sincerely
Ron Jeffries
PS: Socks
sends his regards. He is out moussing at present. We hope you like the
card of Fairlop Waters.
