How about this!

I am back from my weekly shop. My grocery and general food bill reveals that there are only four items which cost me more than one pound - cat litter (£1.55) - not for me of course!, Stilton and Mature Cheddar (both £1.49), six Melton Mowbray Mini-Pork Pies (£1.59). The bill for cat food is 50% of the bill for groceries - and of course £1.55 of the grocery bill was for Socks. I would assure my readers (some of whom may be a bit worried by now) that I eat healthily and well - I went to the Farm Shop yesterday and spent over £10 on fresh fruit which is now all boxed and in the freezer for my dessert/pudding/afters/sweet (depending on which part of the country you are from).