Whites!

Early today I sent the following plea to ten ladies of my acquaintance and thought you might be interested to read this – and the responses

I have just spent a happy hour (although it felt like a day!) at the ironing board. First there were two table cloths used on my stall at the Christmas Market last Saturday. Difficult, yes. But I coped. I have to admit that the large bed sheet that I also used has been washed but not ironed. I have folded it with care and promise that it will be ironed when I use it next - which I hope will be never!

But it is the handkerchiefs where I need your help. The two tea towels were no problem. I ironed 15 white handkerchiefs and six coloured ones. I used the best washing sachets money can buy together with Glowhite and the Yellow Stuff which make them smell like a spring meadow or a lavender bush or such like. Also each and every one was sprayed with the very best stain remover on both sides of the stains.

No problem with the coloured ones. But every one of the 15 white fellows has been placed in the drawer reserved to handkerchiefs for use in the garden or at night when no one can see them except me and Socks. For they all - yes, all 15 - have some sort of stain, however small, but stain nonetheless. No way can I take a white handkerchief with even the smallest stain out through the front door - for folk might think that standards are slipping and Heather would be called upon to alert the care home!

So here are the questions to be answered, please ladies:
(1) Why is it that white handkerchiefs have stains but not coloured ones?
(2) Should I dispense with the white ones and only have coloureds?
(3) If (2) above, please recommend a good supplier for quality coloured handkerchiefs - for I do not want any of your old rubbish ones thank you very much!

Three folk replied and I have responded thus:

Many thanks to all those who replied. I took the advice, purchased Fairy Non Bio and Stain Remover White Powder in Wilko. On return home I removed all the nicely ironed but stained white handkerchiefs from the drawer, boiled them in a saucepan for 10 minutes - two lots. Fortunately, I stood by the stove as the first lot boiled and was just in time to stop the boiling over process! Less water for the second set. Then into the washing machine! I have just removed them. They look perfect! They are now drying and will be ironed in the morning for there are limits!

I will append some of the advice I have been given - for your amusement, but no names! And thanks again

Respondent One: Coloured gentlemen’s handkerchiefs are for those who work manually, so should be used only in the garden, etc.

A gentleman such as yourself should always use the white variety when going about your daily business as is fitting for your status. To remove stains leave in very hot water for a couple of hours with two large scoops of Vanish - the white variety - followed by a hot wash Good luck!  

Respondent Two: Suggest you go for option (2) coloured handkerchiefs, preferably patterned ones. Can I give you some inside information? A senior partner in an international firm of solicitors, who we both know, uses patterned coloured handkerchiefs, so if they are good enough for the legal profession I am sure they are fine for you! I use tissues!

Respondent Three: I have heard of your plight with stained white handkerchiefs. I would advise the method I use for mine (and church linen). I boil all in a saucepan of water with a tablespoonful of detergent for 10 minutes. This will remove all stains I assure you. I always use Fairy Non Bio powder with a little Vanish added, but any laundry detergent would do. In the old days my grandmother would grate what was left of the old bar of lifeboy soap and add a little washing soda to the water. All the stains come out of my handkerchiefs and all red wine, etc., from the church whites. I then drip dry them on the line.