Mint

I have posted the following letter to The Managing Director,
PZ Cuzzons (UK) Ltd., MANCHESTER M22 5TG for it does say on the bottle that they would love to hear from me.

Dear Sir,

For some years I have used your Original Source Mint and Tea Tree Anti-bacterial Handwash.

I enjoy the aroma and find it serves me well in keeping my hands fresh, clean and free from anything nasty. I am, you see, an eighty-five-year-old who enjoys life and wants plenty more of it, thank you very much. 

But one thing intrigues me about your excellent product and I write to seek you help, for the matter has been giving me much concern over recent weeks, to the extent that I wake in the middle of the night and lie there pondering – which can be painful at my age, as you will appreciate.

On the front of the container you have inscribed the statement: ‘3,203 TINGLING REAL MINT LEAVES ARE PACKED INTO . . .” followed by the name of the product (and the capitals are yours, of course). How, I have to ask, can you be certain that there are precisely 3,203 tingling real mint leaves in each and every bottle? Who in your organisation counts the leaves? Is he or she a permanent member of staff? What is his or her job title? Are there occasional vacancies? If so, I would be happy to pop along to Manchester from time to time (for there is a good train service from the Metropolis), although this would have to be arranged when my daughter is available to feed Socks (who is my faithful sixteen-year-old cat, in case you wondered). Finally, which variety of mint is used in your product – I have grown about ten different strains in the past, but these days cultivate the garden variety 

I am a keen gardener and you may be interested to know that my late wife enjoyed a cup of mint tea. These days I make my own mint sauce for the days when I enjoy a lamb chop or two. I have never counted the number of mint leaves I use to make mint sauce, but may do so in future if you think it is wise. Please advise on this point.

Please reply as soon as possible for the matter is a worry and at my age too much worry is not good.