This morning I had a telephone call from a man wanting me to complete a short survey on line about mobility. I do not know what possessed me to agree to this for I tire of the constant barrage of calls from folk offering to sort out my non-existent PPI or plying me with things I do not want, have never had and am unlikely to need. Perhaps it was the fact that this is a Monday morning and the man sounded desperate. Fearing that I might be responsible for the man topping himself, I agreed, for I am a kind old cove at heart and could not bear to have the death of a man I do not know on my conscience. No way!
The questions were not too intrusive - after age and inquiries about my general health, the man asked me how old was my bed and seemed positively delighted when I said it was but three years old (in fact, I almost expected some whoops of joy but they never came). He was also overcome on learning that I am a light sleeper, that I do not have neck or back pains, and that I get about without the need for a walking stick or other aid.
Finally, the man thanked me profusely for my valuable time (his words) and said that he would now like to give me a luxury pillow. Now I am a great fan of luxury pillows, in fact I cannot get enough of them, not that I have one, but that is beside the point (and please do not be pedantic about this, Cedric nor you Arbuthnot). It so happened, the man said, that he would be in my area tomorrow and would like to call to personally deliver the luxury pillow at either 10am or 1pm. How kind, I thought! Looking furtively in my diary (for I would prefer that the man believed I committed my appointments to my head), I said that 1pm would suit me best.
But then came the crunch - for the man said that he would also wish to make a short presentation to me on the topic of mobility and that this would take no more than an hour of my valuable time (his words).
It was at this point that I terminated the conversation, politely of course, thanking the man for his valuable time as I did so. When, I ask myself, will I ever learn?
