A Very Happy New Year to all my Readers – and may it be one of great prosperity and much peace. And when I say “all my Readers” I mean just that for I have discovered that there are a Great Many of You out there in the big wide world reading my Blog. Yes, indeed there are. You see, by pressing a link marked ‘STATS’ I am able to discover that at this moment in time there are 199 of you in the United Kingdom, 9 in Ireland, 6 United States, 3 France, 2 Canada, 1 Macau, 1 Norway and 1 Venezuela. How about that then!
What a very jolly gang you are. I wish you all well and promise to find out where Macau is situated. My reader in Venezuela has been with me from the very start. I would guess he or she was just waiting for the blog to hit the ether, the hi-fi or whatever and WOW – in they went full pelt and no stopping. A special “Hi” to my reader in Norway, for I have a son who is a Norwegian, but I doubt if it is him for he is far too busy planning what to do with his rock garden next May (Richard and Stine’s house is built on an outcrop of rock, in case you wondered). I am to return in May to supervise the planting and to turn the occasional spade full, whilst watching the tree planting (no half measures there, I can tell you).
Now I believe that a sense of humour is great gift and one that we should treasure. It, therefore, gave me great pleasure to discover that my eldest grandson, Luke Jerome, has one and in considerable measure let it be said. It was Luke who took time out from the First of January Family Gathering Buffet Lunch at my home to walk into the Kitchen and write on my Weekly Meal Planner some suggested meals. And in case you have difficulty reading here they are: Monday - Haggis; Tuesday - Coco Pops; Wednesday – Lamb Coffee; Thursday – Pea Milkshake; Friday – Chicken Gateau; Saturday – Honey Soup; Sunday – Duck Cake. Young Finlay spilled the beans, reading the list from the kitchen so that the assembled throng seated in the dining room might have many a chuckle (for they are like that).
The Weekly Meal Planner was presented to me by Recycling Debbie of the London Borough of Redbridge, where the Gorgeous Debbie is Queen of the Recycling. Debbie also gave me a shopping bag which informs all who see it (and some who do not wish to do so) on one side that “I Love Redbridge” and on the other that I am to “Reuse me over and over” – 82 times for I counted them – “again” . I take this on my shopping trips tucked inside my Borough Market hessian bag until needed (which is often, for I am a keen shopper). Debbie also gave me some of those little plastic clips that you use to attach to open bags to keep food fresh, all marked with the slogan, “Love food, hate waste” or some such. What a kind Lady she is! And I know quite a few other ladies who would count as kind too – so you may read about them in later posts (for this, I am told, is a post).
I would guess that you have recovered your composure from laughing at the Weekly Meal Planner and may, therefore, be in the mood for a joke. I am not very good at remembering jokes. In fact, I only know one – that was told to me by Pat many years ago. But now I have another and I will write it down for fear I might forget it. Before Christmas I told this joke to Ruth, John and Dorothy, our cleaner, and all three laughed – in fact, I thought John was going to have a bad turn, but he recovered his composure – much to my relief. He was still chuckling when I left!
This joke was told by the Director of Music at St. Paul’s Cathedral on Wednesday 17th December at the end of A Celebration of Christmas – with carols, music and readings (by Sir Derek Jacobi, Patricia Hodge, Vanessa Redgrave CBE and Joely Richardson, for I like a bit of name dropping from time to time, and guess you do too Cedric, but please pay attention when I am speaking to you, there’s a good chap).
A mother had three sons. The first was a banker and very, very rich. He decided to buy his mother a Porsche for Christmas. The second son was a solicitor handling corporate matters and therefore, very, very, very rich. So he bought his mother a new house. The third son was not very rich – in fact he was downright poor – and he did not know what to buy his mother. He walked around the town looking in shop windows for inspiration. Spotting a notice announcing that the shop had a talking Parrot for sale, he went inside. The shopkeeper explained that this was an exceptional parrot for he could recite verses from the Bible if he was given the title of a chapter.
Right, thought the man, I will give this is go. “Genesis!” he called. “In the beginning, in the beginning,” cried the parrot. Impressed, the man tried “Isaiah!”. “Comfort ye, comfort ye,” cried the parrot. So taken with this was the man that he asked the price. “Thirty thousand pounds,” said the shopkeeper. And although this would take most of the money the man had in the bank, he bought the parrot for his mother.
On Christmas Day all three sons were in their own homes. The first son rang his mother, who said she was delighted with the Porsche and would go out for a drive in it shortly. The second son also rang his mother who said she was very pleased with the new house and would move in next week.
The third son rang his mother. “What did you think of the parrot?” he asked. His mother replied: “It made a nice change from turkey!”
We also had some jokes put in by boys of the Cathedral Choir - but I cannot remember any of those, which is probably just as well for too many jokes at one sitting may be harmful.
