A great day in London

Last November I suggested to Paul that we should book something for mid-February, when the dark days of winter are starting to make us wonder if we will ever see the sunshine again. Paul agreed. So I booked a matinee for Thursday 15th February at the St. Martin's Theatre to see Agatha Christie's 'The Mousetrap'. This thriller has been running since 1952. I saw it in the 1950s and Paul had seen it before. But we had both forgotten the ending who dunnit! That is until the interval when Paul wrote the name of the murder inside his programme - and he was right (and that was no surprise for the lad has a photographic memory, such that if you give him a month of the year in the late 1970s he will be able to tell you the second colour used in SCOUTING Magazine of which he was assistant editor at the time to my editor).

I arrived at the new Tottenham Court Road Station which TfL have done up somewhat. There in the foyer - near the swiss escalator onto the street - is a piano with the invitation to anyone passing by to play. The chap in my photograph was brilliant - with fingers that dashed all over the place playing sparkling tunes. He stood up to give way to a young man, but before the latter could be seated a girl of about eight sat on the seat and started to play with one finger. The pianist then sat down with her and they played together. It was just magic in the Underground. I am told - by Paul, who knows these things - that other pianos are installed in various stations in London.

A short walk down Charing Cross Road - and a peep onto Foyles, but I have a house full of books so I was not tempted - and I arrived at the St Martin's at the same time as Paul. The play started out at the Ambassador's next door before moving to the St Martin's. The cast changes every year - which is just as well for the originals would be somewhat older by now. OI had expected the theatre to be filled with oldies - but it was half term so there were lots of families which was good.

From there we partook of a Starbucks Coffee and then journeyed to Fleet Street for dinner at Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese. Paul had promised me dinner there for it has great literary associations - Charles Dickens, G K Chesterton and the like dined there. Dating from the 16th Century, it was destroyed in the Great Fire of London in 1666 and rebuilt a year later. I had steak and kidney pie - what else! We both had a G & T - hence the photograph is a bit shaky. That's two G & Ts in as many months. I may become an alcoholic.

We had a couple of taxis as it was far too cold to stand about for buses and I wanted to make it a day we would enjoy without getting ill into the bargain. London at night from the warmth of a London cab is something to be savoured and enjoyed. The driver of my Ilford Radio Cars mini-cab from Ilford Station to my home had not seen me for sometime and when I told him where I had been, he asked me if I should be out at eight at night - alone on Ilford Hill. When I told him I am 85 next month, he just sighed!

Tins and things

I have just spent a happy ten minutes moving some handkerchiefs merrily around a pan of boiling water containing Fairy Non Bio and Wilko Stain Remover, using a wooden spoon which is now almost white, whilst a machine-load of other washing gurgled away. I have learned that such a pan has to be watched or it boils over. This did not happen today.

As I did so my eyes alighted on a box of Dr Bechmann’s Original Colour Run Remover. I have never used the contents. I believe the box has been there for at least three and a half years for I have never ever purchased such a thing. I read the instructions. I am none the wiser. I have returned the box to its rightful place beside the Glowhite (which I use every week and sometimes twice in a week).

That Colour Run Remover is a bit like the half-dozen tins of miscellaneous foods I discovered on the top shelf at the back of the bottom cupboard under the worktop in the kitchen. I rarely - if ever - go to that cupboard and never ever to the top shelf at the back. I had a peep last week - to discover that all the tins were firmly stuck to the shelf. Prising them off, the use-by dates were 2014. Horror of horrors. Do not please tell the family for they will have me whisked off somewhere to be sorted out - or worse!

There are, of course, files in my office that I have not opened for yonks, but keep quiet about that too. At least they do not stick to the shelves and they are all, without a doubt, archives of intrinsic value that cannot be calculated. Thanks!

PS There are no other tins of that vintage in the house. I have checked.

Amaryllis Minerva bursts into gorgeous bloom in my front porch. I trust that all those good folk who park their cars outside my house will enjoy!

EI Championships

St. Peter's Aldborough Hatch
38th St. Peter's Flower Festival and Craft Market
The First-ever Aldborough Hatch Extreme Ironing Championships will be held on Sunday 24th June 2018 on The Green

Historical background

Extreme ironing (also called EI) is an extreme sport in which people take ironing boards to remote locations and iron items of clothing. According to the Extreme Ironing Bureau, extreme ironing is "the latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt." 

Some locations where such performances have taken place include a mountainside of a difficult climb; a forest; in canoe; while skiing or snowboarding; on top of large bronze statues; in the middle of a street; underwater; in the middle of the M1 motorway; whilst parachuting; and under the ice sheet of a frozen lake. The performances have been conducted solo or by groups.

Phil Shaw invented the sport. He arrived home in 1997 in Leicester after a hard day's work in a knitwear factory to a mountain of ironing and decided it was too dull to iron indoors, so he took it into his garden. When his housemate came home he asked what Phil what he was doing, and Phil said, "Extreme Ironing".

There is a German branch of the Extreme Ironing Bureau and the first World Championships were held in 2002, with eighty teams from ten countries who navigated an obstacle course, pressing boxer shorts and blouses while scaling a climbing wall, hanging from a moss-covered tree branch and squeezing through the bonnet of a car. When judging the ironing counts for 60 points, style for 40 and speed for 20. 

There are now some 1,500 extreme ironists practising worldwide and some teams have received corporate backing. Calls are now being made for the sport's inclusion in the Olympics. "If you can have synchronised swimming and curling, I think extreme ironing has as much to offer," Phil has said. And I am with him all the way, especially up that climbing wall! 

Ben Fogle - the TV presenter, explorer and toff, whose book I have just read entitled 'English, Marmite, Queuing and Weather' - holds the view - to which I would fully subscribe - that whilst EI is not as physically challenging as some sports, the difficulty lies 'in the extreme embarrassment of ironing in a street in front of large crowds'. 

A branch of ironing has been developed that includes both bungee jumping and well-pressed clothing. Bungee ironing is what some would call the ultimate in the thrill of extreme ironing. The sport gained international attention after a documentary entitled Extreme Ironing: Pressing for Victory, was produced for Channel 4 by Wag TV. The programme followed the British team's efforts and eventual Bronze and Gold placings in the 1st Extreme Ironing World Championships in Germany. A side-story looked at the rivalry between the EIB (Extreme Ironing Bureau) and a breakaway group called Urban Housework who were trying to establish their own extreme sport based around vacuum-cleaning. 

Ron Jeffries, Chief Judge 6th February 2018

Rules and Entry Form below

Final date for Application: 31st March 2018

38th St. Peter's Flower Festival and Craft Market

The First-ever Aldborough Hatch Extreme Ironing Championships will be held on Sunday 24th June 2018 on The Green

Contestants are invited to apply to enter the above Championships. Closing date: 31st March 2018

Rules

The Championships be divided into two stages:
Stage One: Stationary Ironing in which the Contestants are required to iron two tea towels and two handkerchiefs to a high standard over a 10-minute period, points being awarded for ironing (60 points) and style (40).
Stage Two: Ironing on the Obstacle Course. Along the pathways in the churchyard where three 'ironing points' would be marked where contestants would be required to iron one tea towel and one handkerchief to a high standard at each 'ironing point'. A series of simple obstacles would litter the course (but no climbing ladders, onto roof tops or up church towers for we want to encourage both the young and the not so young to participate). Points would be awarded as follows: ironing (40 points), overcoming obstacles with style and grace (40) and speed (20 to the winner, 15 to the second and 10 to the third). Those coming in after an hour would be referred to the paramedics on hand that day.

In view of the undoubted fact that some of our more mature - and highly experienced - ironers may be somewhat daunted by the idea of dashing round the churchyard with their ironing boards, contestants may enter for either Stage One or Stage Two - or both.

Suitably inscribed cups would be presented to the winner of each Stage with a further cup for the overall winner of both Stages - to be retained until the date of the next Championships. The winners' names would be inscribed on the cups. Certificates will be awarded to all, including those who need paramedic attention. National and international fame would follow

Maximum sizes: Ironing Board - 56" long by 36" high; tea towels - 30" x 15"; handkerchiefs - 15" x 15"

Attire should be appropriate for the time of year (no mini-skirts or pyjamas, please; we do not want anyone flaunting themselves in unseemly fashion). 

Entry fee: a punnet of fresh strawberries from each contestant (for sale in the Refreshment Bar at the Festival).

The Championships would be widely advertised in the media - local press, TV and radio to encourage maximum crowds and TV, radio and press coverage. Paramedics would be invited to be in attendance. Stewards will control the crowds. Fighting, biting, sabotaging ironing boards, swearing, uncouth language and other unruly behaviour will be frowned upon - miscreants to be ceremoniously tossed over the hedge!

Ron Jeffries CSM, Chief Judge
(CSM: Certified of Sound Mind

Entry Form - please complete and return not later than 31st March 2018 to:
Ron Jeffries, 37 Spearpoint Gardens, Aldborough Road North, Aldborough Hatch IG2 7SX

Name: …………………………………………………………………………….. Mr/Mrs/Ms (please delete)

Address: ………………...…………………………………………………………

……………………………………………….. Post Code: ……………………….

Telephone: ………………………………………………

I wish to enter for Stage One/Stage Two (please delete if only one stage) and confirm that I have the support of my parents/ partner/wife/husband/GP/ grandparents/children/carer/neighbours

Signed: ………………………………………………………… 

Date: ………………………………………….

Applicants will be advised whether or not the Championships will be staged, depending on a minimum number of entrants making application by 31st March 2018

Candlemas

I have been fortunate to be part of two Services for Candlemas - the first on Friday at St. Paul's Cathedral, London, the second this evening at St. Peter's Aldborough Hatch - marking the end of Christmas. At the first the congregation carried their lit candles under the Dome; at the second the church was filled with over 150 lit candles and, again, the congregation carried candles in procession to the font. Both inspirational. Both peaceful. Well worth going out for on cold evenings. The first was packed - perhaps a thousand or more; the second, sadly, not so. But I take my hat off to those who persevere; perhaps next year will be different.

Easter cards

Easter cards for 2018 will goon sale this week - all shots taken in St. Peter's at Easter 2017

Spring is not far behind

On this cold but sunny winter Sunday I popped next door to my neighbour's front garden to shoot this glorious camellia which has been in bloom all week - my plant is in bud but no flower yet. The yellow winter jasmine and bag are in my front garden. These shots should make for good notelets!

Extreme Ironing (EI)

The following paper will be distributed at the weekend and discussed at the Flower Festival 2018 Planning Meeting on  Monday 5th February

Proposal: That the First Aldborough Hatch Extreme Ironing Championships be staged on Sunday 24^th June 2018

on The Green at St. Peter’s Church as part of the Entertainment at the

38^th St. Peter’s Flower Festival and Craft Market

History

Extreme ironing (also called EI) is an extreme sport in which people take ironing boards to remote locations and iron items of clothing. According to the Extreme Ironing Bureau, extreme ironing is "the latest danger sport that combines the thrills of an extreme outdoor activity with the satisfaction of a well-pressed shirt."

Some locations where such performances have taken place include a mountainside of a difficult climb; a forest; in canoe; while skiing or snowboarding; on top of large bronze statues; in the middle of a street; underwater; in the middle of the M1 motorway; whilst parachuting; and under the ice sheet of a frozen lake. The performances have been conducted solo or by groups.

Phil Shaw invented the sport. He arrived home in 1997 in Leicester after a hard day’s work in a knitwear factory to a mountain of ironing and decided it was too dull to iron indoors, so he took it into his garden. When his housemate came home he asked what Phil what he was doing and Phil said, "Extreme Ironing".

There is a German branch of the Extreme Ironing Bureau and the first World Championships were held in 2002, with eighty teams from ten countries who navigated an obstacle course, pressing boxer shorts and blouses while scaling a climbing wall, hanging from a moss-covered tree branch and squeezing through the bonnet of a car. When judging the ironing counts for 60 points, style for 40 and speed for 20. 

There are now some 1,500 extreme ironists practising worldwide and some teams have received corporate backing. Calls are now being made for the sport's inclusion in the Olympics. "If you can have synchronised swimming and curling, I think extreme ironing has as much to offer," Phil has said. And I am with him all the way, especially up that climbing wall!

Ben Fogle – the TV presenter, explorer and toff, whose book I have just read entitled English, Marmite, Queuing and Weather – holds the view - to which I would fully subscribe - that whilst EI is not as physically challenging as some sports, the difficulty lies 'in the extreme embarrassment of ironing in a street in front of large crowds'. 

A branch of ironing has been developed that includes both bungee jumping and well-pressed clothing. Bungee ironing is what some would call the ultimate in the thrill of extreme ironing. The sport gained international attention after a documentary entitled Extreme Ironing: Pressing for Victory, was produced for Channel 4 by Wag TV. The programme followed the British team's efforts and eventual Bronze and Gold placings in the 1st Extreme Ironing World Championships in Germany. A side-story looked at the rivalry between the EIB (Extreme Ironing Bureau) and a breakaway group called Urban Housework who were trying to establish their own extreme sport based around vacuum-cleaning.

I would propose that the St. Peter’s Flower Festival 2018 Planning Meeting on Monday 5^th February 2018 consider the Proposal overleaf.

Proposal

(1) That the First-ever Aldborough Hatch Extreme Ironing Championships be staged on Sunday 24^th June 2018 at a prime time, such as late morning or early afternoon, on The Green at St. Peter’s Church as part of the Entertainment.

(2) That the Championships be divided into two stages:

Stage One: Stationary Ironing in which the Contestants are required to iron two tea towels and two handkerchiefs to a high standard over a 10-minute period, points being awarded for ironing (60 points) and style (40).

Stage Two: Ironing on the Obstacle Course. This would be along the pathways in the churchyard where three ‘ironing points’ would be marked where contestants would be required to iron one tea towel and one handkerchief to a high standard. A series of simple obstacles would litter the course (such as a bath of water which contestants would be required to wade from one end to the other and other jolly capers, but no climbing ladders, onto roof tops or up church towers for we want to encourage young and the elderly to participate). Points would be awarded as follows: ironing (40 points), overcoming obstacles with style and grace (40) and speed (20 to the winner, 15 to the second and 10 to the third). Those coming in after an hour would be referred to the paramedics on hand that day.

(3) A suitably inscribed cup would be presented to the winner to be retained until the date of the next Championships. The winner’s name would be inscribed on the cup.

(4) Certificates would be awarded to all, including those who need paramedic attention.

(5) Ben Fogle will be invited to act as Chief Judge and will be offered travelling expenses from his home in West London (40p per mile) but no fee (although we would present him with a signed copy of Aldborough Hatch – The Village in the Suburbs – A History). Ron Jeffries would be Assistant Judge, but in the event of Ben Fogle not being available due to the fact that he is rowing down the Nile in a Pith Helmet or swimming the Channel in a Mr Blobby Suit, Ron Jeffries would assume the mantle of Chief Judge. The decisions of the Chief Judge will be final and no appeals will be tolerated. No Sir!

(6) A flyer would be produced with the rules – including maximum size of ironing board, iron, tea towels and handkerchiefs, appropriate attire (we do not want anyone flaunting themselves in unseemly fashion). An entry fee of a punnet of fresh strawberries would be required from each contestant, brought on the day and handed to the Chief Judge.

(7) The Championships would be widely advertised in the media – local press, TV and radio to encourage maximum crowds and TV, radio and press coverage. It will be necessary to have stewards controlling the crowds to that when The Green’s capacity has been reached for both those seated and standing, onlookers be encouraged to line up on the pavement in Oaks Lane to watch over the hedge (which may need to be trimmed to a reasonable height). Crowd control on the obstacle course route is essential.

Important caveat: If this is approved, I would insert a notice in the March BROADSHEET inviting potential contestants to contact me for details. Unless we have a minimum of six signed up by mid-April, we will NOT go ahead.

Ron Jeffries CSM

1^st February 2018                                              *CSM: Certified of Sound Mind