Laugh? I cried with laughter!

I have my friend Joanne to thank for the following - complaints sent by holiday-makers to Thomas Cook. They defy belief - but do laugh! 

1. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”

2. “They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.”

3. “We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”

4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”

5. “The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”

6. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.”

7. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

8. “No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.”

9. “Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”

10. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

11. “The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”

12. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”

13. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.”

14. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort.’ We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.”

15. “When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”

16. “We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.”

17. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

18. “I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”

19. “My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

Evening at Aldborough Hall Farm

Two geese enjoying a chat beside the pond at Aldborough Hall Farm, whilst Mother Goose and her three Goslings are out for an evening stroll, under the watchful eye of the farm cat!

Summer is here!

Water lily in the front garden - first rose and the Arum lilies in the back! Summer is here!

Am I going mad?

I need convincing that I have not gone stark raving mad!

I have just walked past two signs that confuse me. 

The first - in the window of a national supplier of sportswear - read: 'In the interest of safety and security' (or it might have said: 'For safety and security reasons'), 'we reserve the right to request customers to remove their headgear’.

Why? Let me assume for one moment that I am intent on carrying out some dastardly deed, why would I hide the instrument I would use for this purpose under my wooly hat or Trilby? A knife? A gun?  A pot of pepper? A can of lethal spray? All of these would sit more easily in my trouser pocket or, in the case of a lady, in her handbag! Why else would I have to remove my headgear? 

The second sign appeared on the wall of a road bridge over the Central Line. It stated that “This bridge belongs to London Underground’, which is reassuring for I might have assumed it was owned by some generous philanthropist who had paid for the bridge to be built out of the kindness of his hearts that I might stare down at the trains as they rumble on their way. But it is the next statement that sent me wondering if I am due to be sent out of harms way. It read: ‘In case of a bridge strike Freephone 0800616031’.

What, I ask myself, is a ‘bridge strike’? Do bridges go on strike? Or is the notice intended to imply that if you strike or hit the bridge you should use the Freephone number to report this act of wanton naughtiness?

I wish folk would use plain English and stop trying to be clever. And if I am to be requested to remove my headgear, dare I ask why?

Happy Days!

I thought you would like to know that I have just spent half-an-hour ironing 16 handkerchiefs and 8 tea towels - all mine of course. Washed this morning, dried indoors as it rained all morning. Very satisfying, I must say! Not that you would all know, of course, for you do not indulge yourselves in these little pleasures of life. Now off to the greenhouse for an hour or so then back to making Christmas cards!

If you had asked me 19 years ago when I retired that I would be doing when I was 84 I very much doubt I would have written the above sentences! 

Take me, said Mr Fox!

Mr Fox was out for a Sunday afternoon stroll when a photographer happened to come by. "Take my photograph," said Mr Fox, and the photographer did just that. The two basked in the sunshine at Valentines Mansion on Sunday 14th May. Mr Fox wandered into the undergrowth and the photographer caught the 296 bus back to Romford whence he had come. Said the photographer, who was happy for me to send these photographs to the local press: "I heard there were friendly foxes in Valentines Park!"

I am still making Christmas Cards!

I am still making Christmas Cards! And because I like to listen to music whilst doing so, I racked my brains to find something that I would enjoy - now that the sun is out in my garden. I went back in time to 1967 - before you were born Cedric - and hearing 'A white shade of pale' in South Kensington played on an organ by a good friend. I googled on YOUTUBE and this is what I found. It is just magic and has sent me back to that time in my life when I moved from the City of London to South Ken to edit The Scout Association's national magazine - a move that changed my life. This version made in 2006 is the best - although still not quite as good as the original. I never could understand the meaning of the words and do not want to do so - which is probably just as well. I just like to voice sound and the tune - and the choir in 2006 is magic too.

To find it take this link: Procol Harum - A Whiter Shade of Pale, live in Denmark 2006 - YouTube

Guess what I am doing today?

It is raining on and off today so I am spending the day indoors making - guess what? Christmas Cards for my stall at the Craft Market at the St. Peter's Flower Festival 24th/26th June!

I have some new photographs as it is now about five years since we had any snow hereabouts. Here is one of them! Elizabeth and her son Valentine at ST. Peter's for the Christmas Market last year. Donkeys always sell well in photographs so I hope these cards will do well too.

Hope to see you there! Do visit my stall - not only Christmas Cards, but also Notelets, signed limited edition print of the church in the spring - framed of course - and the 2017 edition of my book 'Aldborough Hatch - The Village in the Suburbs - A History'. Limited print order so hurry to buy a copy - I have sold some 38 already!

Isn't nature wonderful!

Last year on Sunday 16th August I went to Columbia Road Flower Market where I purchased the foxglove seen above. 

I took the plant to the service of Sung Eucharist at St. Paul’s Cathedral, where one of the Vergers commented that he thought this was the first time a Foxglove plant had attended a service. The tag on the right in the second shot shows the date. I saved the seeds by hanging the seed pods upside down in a bag in the greenhouse. I planted them out in March in the greenhouse incubator. Three took - and the best is on the lefthandside. The three are now in my kitchen where I can keep them under careful eye. I look forward to the flowering in late August, I guess!

The garden is coming along . . .

My garden in Aldborough Hatch is coming to life again after the long winter and cold spring, with the promise of warmer weather in the next few days. I will not be planting out the summer flowering plants till the last frosts are past - local farmers say this is after 19the May. The wildflower bank is coming along and my new bottle brush plant looks happy i its new home after Columbia Road Market. Socks is his haughty self and would not look at me!

It seems like last week . . .

On Sunday morning, just before 9am, I was on my way to St. Paul's Cathedral when a lady sat beside me on the 66 bus, having been to service at the Catholic church in Newbury Park. The lady recognised me and after a few seconds, I realised it was Rachel (not real name) from the magistrates' court.

As a member of the Lord Chancellors Advisory Committee and later Bench Chairman, I had been one of two magistrates to interview Rachel in her home prior to the court interview and eventual appointment. I recalled that when meeting with Rachel in her home, her daughter aged 18 months or so sat on her lap throughout the time we were there and would not leave her Mother. It was the only time I ever interviewed a prospective magistrate and her young daughter at the same time!

How old is your daughter now, I asked Rachel on the bus? I had in mind that she might be at school . . .

Twenty-four, Rachel told me! My how time flies! 

I still cannot believe to was all that time ago for to seems like only last week . . .

Another Sunday at Columbia Road Flower Market

Two weeks running on a Sunday to Columbia Road Flower Market! But this time I did it the right way round. St Paul's Cathedral for Matins, then the Market. This saves carrying plants into the Cathedral!

Singing was uplifting as ever, with Canon Hollis preaching on 'confidence'. I feel closer to Yvonne there in that massive place.

The children dancing to the m musician at the entrance to the Market were a joy to watch. There is always so much going on with street musicians, antique and gardening shops in addition to the plants and flowers.

Last week at the Market I contented myself with a couple of herbs and some bulbs. This week I bought a Bottle Brush Plant - we had one some years back. The plant I bought is about a foot high so will mature well when I re-pot tomorrow. The bright red spikes are said to resemble the kind of brush you clean inside bottles - see last photograph. I bought one where only one spike is burst into flower. Lots to look forward to seeing.

The arch towards the back of the rear garden is bereft of any life so I bought a clematis and a passion flower - from the elderly gentleman in the second from last shot. He was kindly and helpful. The passion flower (Caerulea) is what I would call the traditional purple and white whilst the clematis is Piilu - scarlet - flowering early summer and later too. Planting tomorrow - too tired today! The passion flowers are at the back of the shot and the clematis is on the right in the foreground.

I bought two bunches of Dutch tulips for Heather in red and yellow. Heather met me at Hainault Station - which was a great help for struggling onto buses and trains with the plants and flowers tested my nerve somewhat! Lunch with Heather and Robert, Luke and Marlon. Good food and so good to see them all.

Lavender Hidcote

The courier today with the Lavender Hidcote plug plants. In very good condition, too!

I have potted up 32 - these are for the new garden in St. Peter's churchyard. I have also put the balance of 10 in troughs for my garden. The notes accompanying them from Mr Fothergill’s advise keeping them in a frost free place for a week or three! Perhaps 19th May! Then bringing them outdoors to harden off before planting. I will keep them in the green house till the magic day then harden off.

They look really strong with good roots, good and green with no yellowing. And all they cost was the postage - special offer in Gardeners' World magazine!

Spring gone - summer on the way!

Just spent three hours in the front garden - making a start at sorting out after the spring bulbs have died back - pots now behind the large shrubs to rest over the summer. Potted up the Bertini Begonia which always make a good show. Plus two Platinum Blondes - no, not what you are thinking, Cedric - but Lavenders from Matthews Plants of Roydon. I bought one last year and it is doing well. I have taken some cuttings which are looking good but these are two new plants. The clematis has run riot over the past few days - it survived the winter and should be in flower soon. I hope to buy two new ones for the back garden - will probably go to Columbia Road Flower Market to do so. The stand for clematis in the back garden looks a bit sad and neglected! The rosemary is a trailing variety rather than the bush type - just coming into flower now. 

I have put out the first three new green collection bags. The system has changed in Redbridge - we now buy 50o bags for £50 and they are collected fortnightly - and tomorrow is the day! The bags ar e to very strong - un Like the canvas bags we had when the service was free. Spiky bits poked through - I just hope the bags do not break on the way to the truck!

May Day cakes and plants!

The May Day Fete at St. Peter's Aldborough Hatch attracted record crowds this year in spite of uncertainty about the weather. Some visitors arrived in warm sunshine whilst others had to dash through heavy downpours of rain. Popular as ever were the homemade cake and preserve stalls, whilst the bedding plants were snapped up - although buyers were warned not to plant outdoors until after 19th May - the date when local farmers say that the last frosts are likely to occur.

Sunday morning in London

Sunday morning in Columbia Road Flower Market, not too far from Liverpool Street Station - but buses on diversion meant I had a good walk too! The flowers and the aroma - well, it defies description on a cool morning at 9am (I left home at 8am). I bought two pineapple plant bulbs and three herbs - I wished I could carry more!

On to St. Paul's Cathedral for Sung Eucharist. The preacher was Revd Canon Roger Royle, Chaplain to the Lord Mayor of London and the well-known broadcaster. His thoughtful sermon was on the theme of the unexpected. The purple flowers are outside St. Paul's.

Over the road at the top of Cheapside a brass band was playing. I learned these are all students at the Goldsmiths School of Music. They were playing all round London on Sunday, raising money for the charity MIND - they had a bus round the corner!

London is always full of surprises. I am so lucky having a Freedom Pass and my health to enjoy these. I wanted to go to Fairlop Waters too - but I was just too tired in the legs so I came home to do a bit in the garden!