Twenty-five years ago, at around this time of the year, Yvonne and I decided we would have a concrete base put down at the end of the garden and erect a summerhouse and a greenhouse. All three are still standing - or lying down in the case of the concrete base. And so all three are celebrating their Twenty-fifth Birthday at around this time of the year. Nearby is a tool shed which came much later and now has a list to the west, so the man who put the smaller base down for that did not do such a good job. But it serves its purpose, meaning that tools and the like can go in the tool shed and leave the Summerhouse to house treasured, valuable and valued items - of which more later.
I remember it well - all those years ago when I was a strip of a lad at sixty. Two men made the base. One man erected the greenhouse, which - touch wood - has stood there for all those years with just one pane of glass breaking - from a fallen branch of a tree. I went out next morning to buy a replacement and - wonder of wonders - fitted it myself!
Martyn and Patrick - fellows choir men at St. Peter's Aldborough Hatch and magistrates at Redbridge Magistrates' Court (as it was then called and rightly so for it was in the Borough, but some fellow has changed the name to Barkingside - and I hope I never meet whoever did this foul deed for he or she will receive a bit of my mind) - Martyn and Patrick helped me erect the Summerhouse, although in truth they erected it whilst I stood by and watched. Martyn said it was for the best that I took no part in the erection whatsoever, whilst Patrick - who was a gentle soul - took me on one side, smiled and agreed.
Yvonne and I fitted insulation boards inside and painted them white. I recall that we purchased the boards and the paint at B & Q at the Green Gate and carried them all the way home over a distance of a mile or so, for we were younger then and fitter. We treated the outside with Cuprinol every year - and it needs doing again now. I fitted shelves whilst the carpet tiles came from Heather and Rob (and are as good as new for we vacuum them every year). The two garden chairs were used on the MILK INDUSTRY INTERNATIONAL stand at the Dairy Show in my last year as Editor, so are a mere 20-years-old. The felting on the roof has been replaced twice in the 25 years. The last time youngest son Richard was home - which was fortunate for he helped me buy a tarpaulin and fix this over the Summerhouse to keep the winds and rain out until a man could be found to put things right. Part of the insulation board in the roof inside was soaking wet and had to be taken down. I have not replaced this for it adds to the ambiance - well, that's my excuse!
The Summerhouse contains many items of intrinsic value for Yvonne would often say: "I do not want THAT in MY house - take it to your shed". I would add that Yvonne was a kindly person and not prone to outbursts - except when I brought something into the house that would soon be destined for the Summerhouse. There is, for example, a bottle of Millennium Water and a collection of decorated milk bottles - all of which are utterly priceless. The last ears of wheat grown on the field next to the church are in a vase (look for these treasures in the photographs). I have a simple music system and take CDs there in the warm weather to play whilst I am working in the greenhouse or reading - not that I have time for the latter very often. There are photographs of important events in my life and items used at St. Peter's Flower Festivals - the metal stave constructed by Martyn and used on the front of the choir stalls, the dustbin which formed party of Yvonne's display for Cats and the honey bees' trays from the Festival in 2018. I store wine there and a bottle of white may be taken at anytime in the year and it will be cold enough to drink. There are artworks by my children and grandchildren. If I have whetted your appetite for the treasures, please give me a call and come to see for yourself. You might be amazed and yet you might not!
Some people - Shirley in particular - refer to the Summerhouse (note the capital letter) as the shed-with-the-overhang which other folk might consider derogatory, but which amuses me for it moves the Summerhouse into the realms of Sheds (note capital) and Sheds are something peculiarly British.
I possess three books on Sheds - these reside in the Summerhouse all year round and rightly so in my view. The first is titled Men and Sheds and carries an inscription on the flyleaf from my eldest son reading: 'Dad - Happy 70th Birthday. I saw this and thought of you. No idea why. Love, Graham.' The book contains a number of sheds in photographs and text. I have thumbed through its pages numerous times when the sun shone outside the Summerhouse or the rain thundered down onto the felt roof. Great stuff - my eldest has good taste in literature.
The second book is The Ladybird Book of The Shed and was given to me by my good friend Margaret, who told me that when she saw this in a bookshop, she immediately thought of me. I wonder why? But very kind none-the-less. It is one of the series of spoof Ladybird books for adults - I bought a few for family last Christmas. Highly amusing. One drawing shows a man doing some woodworking is shed. The text reads: "In May 1956, Eric Webb of Dagenham emerged from his shed, where he had been pottering since 1938. He had been reported missing, presumed dead, in 1941 when his house was destroyed by a German incendiary device. Eric did not know that there had been a war. He immediately returned to his shed and started work rebuilding his home." Other pages are in similar riotous vein.
The third book is The Joy of sheds which has a subtitle Because a man's place isn't in the home. I am unsure who gave me this tome - but it could have been Shirley (she who calls the Summerhouse the shed-with-the-overhang). For it was the same Shirley who gave me a wooden plaque which hangs in the Summerhouse and reads: Old journalists never die, they merely miss the deadline. It makes me smile every time I see it.
The Joy of sheds contains a series of Shed Facts - and I will repeat a few here for they may come as something of a surprise too you, Cedric, and too you as well, Mabel. Although I am sure Shirley knew all of them . . .
* 25% of men say their shed is the only place that they can relax and unwind in.
* 47% of men say they've spent a whole day in their shed at a time (I have yet to do this!)
* One in five people use their shed for an activity other than garden storage. (The mind boggles!)
* English Heritage say there are at least 52 Grade II listed sheds in England and Wales (I must find
out how you get a Summerhouse listed).
* It is estimated that there are around 23,000 beach huts in the UK. Bournemouth alone has 1,800.
* 35% of men under the age of 35 wish they had a shed to call their own.
* 23% of shed owners say they have slept or thought about sleeping in their shed. (I might try this if
we have another heatwave).
* If it were large enough, 6% of people would contemplate transforming their shed into a bar or club.
* 16% of Australian shed users have had a serious accident in their shed. This is very similar to
British shed users, where 20% of shed users have had an accident in theirs. 2% of Australian shed
accidents resulted in long-term damage to the shed owners. (I will take great care from now on!)
* 28% of Australian shed-owners consider that the shed is a refuge from the world.
* In their survey of sheds and shed habits, Cuprinol found that 77% of men have access to a shed and
a man spends almost seven days in his shed over the course of a year - presumably justifying all
that expenditure on timber preservation applications.
* 7% of men immediately head for the shed every day after they get home from work - though this
figure may include those parking the bike.
I trust you found all this interesting and enlightening. I must now return the three books to the Summerhouse and check that the freezer is still working for this contains fresh fruit in boxes for my dessert, spare bread, ice lollies, assorted meats and the like - all in case there is a siege or a flood or some other disaster preventing me from reaching Aldi in time for supper.
